Looking back, ME has just taught me so much about myself, spiritually, physically and emotionally. There is no way I could have learnt such valuable lessons without going through what I have been through.
My problems started in the early 1990s, when I went down with shingles, a sign that I was very run down, but sadly I did not heed the warning!
The following year my GP gave me a flu injection because I kept getting recurring colds. A few months later, for the first time I can recall, I caught flu. Knowing no other way, and because I had always learnt to push through illness, I just carried on regardless. I carried on working, despite the physical symptoms I was experiencing. I just never took time off work for illness, so why should this be any different?
After the initial onset of illness I had four months off work, then I returned to work part time for a few months. It then took me about four years to recover, by which time I had regained about 90% full health, was able to work full time, and to go swimming and cycling every week.
In 1994 I became pregnant with our first child and things seemed to be going well until I caught flu a couple of months into my pregnancy. This was followed by an extremely stressful period of my life.
After an extremely long labour, I just about coped for the first six weeks. Then I seemed to hit rock bottom. All my emotions seemed to come up to the surface and I knew that my body was starting to let me down. This was really where my problems started. I just had not learnt the lessons from my first bout of ME, which had been relatively mild.
Looking back, I can now see that I could have saved myself years and years of heartache. If only I had listened to my body from the onset, and if only I knew then the valuable lessons I have learnt over the years. But it is extremely difficult to completely change your way of thinking.
The more I tried to push through my symptoms, the worse I seemed to get. At my worst point I barely had the strength to get up and down the stairs. If I needed to go to the kitchen more than three times in a day (usually to fetch baby milk) I would quite literally be on my hands and knees. This lack of strength in my body was extremely frightening for me because I had always been so fit and healthy. I did not want to accept this illness; I just wanted to be normal. I thought I could just fight it, but this just made matters worse. In fact it did take me years before I seemed to make any progress. I had to re-programme my mind and reverse a lifetime pattern of wrong thinking.
Although I would not choose to go through the last twelve years again, it has been such a time of learning. ME happens for a reason, and it is usually the only way your body knows to slow you down. It forced me to look at a lot of issues in my life.
I have always tried to look at the cause of the illness rather that the symptoms. If you look at yourself as a statistic, then recovery can seem almost impossible, particularly if you have been ill for a number of years. So I took a long hard look at my life, re evaluating my priorities and, most importantly, dealt with past stresses and suppressed emotions.
Most of us have a tendency to push our emotions inside, which consumes large amounts of energy. If you do this for too long, completely ignoring your body's emotional and physical needs then your body becomes overloaded with stress and your body is completely thrown out of balance.
In sheer desperation, I cried out to God to help me. I just did not know who else to turn to. Never could I have believed that he would intervene in such an amazing way as actually happened!
I have had many, many awesome and miraculous healings over the years and God has clearly encouraged me through visions, dreams and prophecies.
He has always given me the grace and strength to overcome all obstacles no matter how impossible they appeared at the time. I am not going to pretend it has been an easy journey because there have been many highs and lows which I have tried to convey in my book.
By writing the book 'My Grace is Sufficient' I hope that it will give hope and inspiration to anyone that is struggling spiritually, emotionally or physically. There is a God that cares and loves each and every one of us. He will not force himself into our lives, but if your situation appears to be hopeless, what have you got to loose? Simply ask God to intervene in your situation and for him to show you his love.
If you are looking for encouragement and healing in your life, for whatever reason, I challenge you to read my full story which I hope shows that any situation no matter how desperate can be changed and transformed. I believe that it is God's will to bring healing into everyone's life. He may not always do it in a way you think he will but it may sometimes be in ways you could never possibly imagine. For we have a mighty God and ALL things are possible through him.